“I have been lonely. Empty. Felt without purpose. Nostalgic of the past of mine left blind and not lived fully. I missed out on a lot of things. I am nostalgic like never before.
The relationship with my daughter I have lost is an open scar that hardly will heal. It has hurt me. Very much.
I had to accept who I was. Who I have been. Never there. Addicted to anything but her. Her presence. The way she would fill the empty rooms with just her company.
I have been missing her so much. As far as a way to heal the nostalgia of these days, I have been told to let time pass.
However, what I have done to her will never change. It will never get better. I failed. As a person first, then a mother. And that will never heal. My emptiness will forever touch her. My loneliness. And now there is just nostalgia. A deep dry feeling of loss.”